Zhoosh Brighton Blog

The Zhoosh! Brighton Blog

My life as a trans, pan man

My name is Drew Jay. I am a transsexual man who also happens to identify as pansexual. Many people understand the term transsexual but I have found people tend to have underlying misconceptions regarding my sexuality. To be honest, it is a fairly new identity for myself but is one that I am very comfortable and happy with.


I get asked too often if pansexual is ‘just a fancy word for bisexual’ or if I am just ‘confused’. My favourite quote was when I came out to my close friends and they replied that I must ‘love cutlery’. I suppose at times I can laugh at the responses but once I break it down, that is my sexuality they are mocking. They have no right to do so. My sexuality is just as valid as anyone else’s.

I believe that if you truly love someone, their identity should not matter. I consider myself gender blind as I only see humans in the world – gender is irrelevant. I do not identify as bisexual as that means that you love both male and females; meaning that you actively only love two genders. However, gender is a lot more complex and fluid than that with variations along the gender spectrum. My sexuality means that I can love all identities along this scale. I currently have a partner and I will continue to love them however they choose to define. My love is for the personality, character and randomness – not their gender.

However, it has only been recently that I have started to become more aware of different identities and expressions. One factor that has been fundamental in discovering my sexuality has been attending the Bi Brighton group run by Allsorts. It has allowed me to explore my sexuality as well as learning about how other people define themselves. The Bi Brighton group meet up monthly and always have fun activities planned. By choosing to attend the group you can expect to take part in a number of exciting activities including Laser Quest, meals out and relaxing sessions on the beach. I went with preconceptions thinking people wouldn’t understand due to my past experiences but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Everyone is respectful of each other’s identities and there is no pressure to act or behave in certain ways. Some of the other identities in the group include: bi, pan, omni, poly and queer and it is so refreshing to hear other people’s experiences. Everyone is free to express themselves in any way you can imagine – I always manage to have a moustache painted on my face each time! I strongly recommend this group to anyone who likes to have fun with amazing accepting people. I mean, who wouldn’t like the sound of that?


Bi Brighton is a monthly social and support group run by Allsorts Youth Project which meets at a central Brighton location the second Wednesday of every month.

The group offers:

– Opportunities to make friends with other bi/pan/omni/queer young people

– Support and information about being bi/pan/omni/poly

– Fun activities and workshops e.g. laser quest, ice-cream on the beach, playing pool and discussion based activities

-Sexual health advice and resources, e.g. condoms, dental dams and lube

-Free food and drink

If you’d like to come along to the group for the first time, or for more information about Bi Brighton, please contact Allsorts on 01273 721211, email melberry@allsortsyouth.org.uk or drop ‘Allsorts Staff’ a message on Facebook.

Allsorts also runs a monthly Trans* group called ‘Transformers.’ For more information please call the same number as above, email transformers@allsortsyouth.org.uk or drop ‘Allsorts Staff’ a message on Facebook.

One Response to “My life as a trans, pan man”

  1. Jase says:

    A wonderfully interesting and informative post. Congratulations and good luck.

    Merry Christmas to you.

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