The Zhoosh! Brighton Blog
A Fraud, a Joke and a Hoax….Lesbian Label to be Dropped!
The other day I received via snail mail from Gatwick, one of those letters that entice poor old pensioners into a web of fraud that sucks up all their money leaving relatives who were looking forward to a slice themselves gasping with rage. This letter purported to come from a Chinese lady who is apparently handling a financial portfolio, currently bulging with 20 million USD, being the investment of a deceased relative ! Whom I might not in fact have been acquainted with in life. And, as the said relative, the benefit of half of all that cash would be mine! (Only half I might add, she proposed to cop the other 10 mil in lieu of the effort needed to track me down.) All I had to do was to shed the ties of reality, turn down the common sense button, whistle “The flowers that bloom in the spring tra la” ditty and pop an email to the addy provided….Mmmmm, I think not. No.
What was a little odd though was that said unknown deceased really had incorporated into his names a resonance from my distant past….somewhat disconcerting. Clearly these folk do their homework – which has to be why so many get sucked in and digested I suppose.
Luckily I am equipped to smell a scam a mile distant, and can clock a hoax instantly. When a chain email deposits itself into my in tray telling me that if should be stranded in a tunnel and my mobile phone has no signal, I can dial 112…. which will divert to a satellite signal putting me through to the 999 Call Centre….. I know just to send it back with a mild (but loving) message because I do not want to jeopardise a caring friendship! But It never ceases to amaze me that some people, possibly less gifted than myself (!) do actually believe this stuff.
Little old ladies headless in the back of the car, alarming pollution of everyday goodies by carcinogenic chemicals, bogus viruses that will munch your hard drive – not to say the urgent demand for your bank password so as to rescue your account from an approaching slough of inaccessibility…
Suddenly alerted to the attack of this unusual menace-mail, imagine my surprise when only an hour or so later I landed upon in what appears to be an online DIVA web page…..
Scoop – Lesbian Label Dropped.
“The term lesbian is to be removed” government officials insist…after ” a legal win for anti-word activists! ..Sue Brown, Minister for Language Affairs - whose father “ sadly suffered from a tractor- driving, slacks-wearing headmistress, – says “I think it is time we put this whole label to bed.”**
I expect that this Ministry for Language Affairs is situated just down the corridor from that well known Government Department The Ministry of Silly Walks.
Not convinced ? Try this one a little further down “It is hoped that all nouns will be abolished under a rollout of strict new legislation.”
To be replaced by what? The gerund?
School children of all ages, please rewrite this sentence using a gerund instead of a noun. Dinner with teacher for the best try…..
“Why should I paint dead fish, onions, and beer glasses? Girls are so much prettier.”
Marie Laurencin
** I do paraphrase a little!
***This seems to be a good website….http://www.hoax-slayer.com/ well, possibly…….
Interesingly, only yesterday, I found out that I am not the only recipient of this scam letter re: deceased rich relative …..seems that large number of folk in Hove have also had the pleasure of being on the receiving end! Know, dear reader, that the girls and boys in blue would like to hear from you should you also have been targetted…..Glad to know they are seriously On The Job.